My answer is..........Ha Ha I wish I knew. Years ago when I did have a very physical career building airplanes as a mechanic/plumber and the kids where younger I did get some help every now and then, but I think you kinda have to demand it. My husband started learning my breaking point which would normally begin by me getting very cranky, telling him I need some help or I'm leaving, reminding him that he has kids also, or just plain saying I'm not cooking tonight. That's when he would tell me to go take a hot bath and he would watch the kids for a while.
I have learned over the years after 30 years of marriage that men usually don't understand hints and really cannot read your mind, they have to be told whats wrong and be told directly that there is a problem and that it's them that is creating the problem. Of course they will try to blame it on you or someone else in the beginning and try to worm there way around not being in the problem itself, it's you that are being too sensitive or tired which may or may not be true, but if it is the case then OK step on up and I will go take a long nap and we will talk about it later.. Once they may or may not admit to a problem they will want some kind of quick fix like telling you how to solve your problem. After they find out that it's not going to work they will usually say OK OK I will help out more I understand. That usually doesn't work the first few times, so you must make plans to go do something with your mother, sister, or friends for a while or for the day. Believe me after you get back for the day, and after several phone calls from him asking when your gonna be home and where is the frying pan, he will have a better understanding of how much work it really is watching the kids and cleaning up after them. This will also take a few times as he will need to be reminded every so often that you need help. Men are usually brought up to think that the wife and mother do all the cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids, but things have changed and it takes two people working in order to be financially stable, so if he wants you to work then he must step in and share in the responsibilities and work. There is no reason that the wife must work and do everything herself, it is just too much for one person to do even though it can be done you will not have an enjoyable, relaxing, happy life, at least I couldn't, and you won't have time to do anything fun with your family, that in itself creates stress and unhappiness. Sometimes you just have to let everyone pitch in and then plan something fun for everyone to do later. Or maybe just let the house be messy for a day or two and just get out of the house and go somewhere. The world is not going to come to an end if something doesn't get done. I tried to be the perfect mom and housekeeper and work and all it did was make me unbearable to be around and exhausted. One time for a while I was working allot of overtime and decided to hire a house cleaner 2-3 times a month just to do the heavy cleaning not the everyday stuff. It was so nice to come home and have a spotless house for the weekend, no mopping floors and scrubbing toilets can really bring on the happy face. Of course by Sunday it might be dirty again but you did get a couple days of not having to do it. Anyways, just some more ideas for ya.
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